It is a universal desire to feel understood. But while so many of us feel misunderstood by our friends and family, very few of us try to make others feel understood.

So why don’t people talk more? Epley continued his research and came up with an answer to the mystery: We don’t start conversations because we’re bad at predicting how much we’ll enjoy them. We underestimate how much others want to talk; we underestimate how much we will learn; we underestimate how quickly other people will want to go deep and get