Making these requests was uncomfortable, but eventually enabled my client to lead from his own position and inspire the best performance from his team, while keeping his boss satisfied. By developing his voice to express solutions both upward and downward, he was no longer a messenger for others, but a true influencer at the organization.

Yet, he was passed over every year, with the feedback that he was too “tactical” and “reactive,” rather than a “proactive, strategic leader.” Unfortunately, his intention to please his leaders as a loyal, execution-focused manager hurt his ability to be seen as someone who could be their peer and lead at their level.

It’s human nature to seek the approval of others, and there certainly are short-term rewards to doing so. But developing a chronic need to prove yourself to others can blind yourself to your internal worth as well as eventually diminish your standing in the eyes of others and sabotage your leadership potential. By following these strategies, you

So, he began to broaden his network and ask advice, not about how others felt about him, but around his development plan and whether it tied to the company’s success. In time, he arrived at an objective set of measures that made sense to him as well as the broader community of people he valued and wanted to lead.