I’ve been trying to trust the spongey structure of my mind: what it absorbs, what it doesn’t, what it can support, what it can’t. This feels much better than assuming I’m meant to interrupt the process with enforced gratitude or note-taking or other tips and tricks for optimizing parenthood. “Optimizing parenthood”—it’s good to sit with that phrase... See more

I’ve been this way since long before Sunny. I have a well-documented record-keeping compulsion and an inherited belief that in order to truly thrive I have to reject what comes naturally. I still operate like that decently often—sublimating what feels right and seamless for the sake of serving some higher goal. I’m thinking of silly examples, like ... See more

There are moments when I think Sunny’s first year went by fast, then I stumble across an old photo or text and my perception of those early months unfolds like an accordion and I’m stunned to recall the depth and variety of experiences I underwent, the majority of which have now been lost to me, and which may be recalled only in bits and pieces ove... See more