I recognized that praising him with the universal “You’re great—I’m proud of you” was a way I expressed unconditional love.

Sincerity of praise is also crucial.

Students turn to cheating because they haven’t developed a strategy for handling failure. The problem is compounded when a parent ignores a child’s failures and insists he’ll do better next time. Michigan scholar Jennifer Crocker studies this exact scenario and explains that the child may come to believe failure is something so terrible, the family

Kids pick up on the power of “Don’t Tell” and learn they can silence one another with it.

worked hard to get to the ball,

common among new parents—that the mythical fountain of knowledge is not magically kicking in at all.

Encouraged to tell so many white lies, children gradually get comfortable with being disingenuous. Insincerity becomes, literally, a daily occurrence. They learn that honesty only creates conflict, while dishonesty is an easy way to avoid conflict.

It becomes easier, psychologically, to lie to a parent.

To be effective, researchers have found, praise needs to be specific.