Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Life-Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships (Nonviolent Communication Guides)

Judgments of others are alienated expressions of our own unmet needs.

“When … someone really hears you without passing judgment on you, without trying to take responsibility for you, without trying to mold you, it feels damn good!

NVC is a process language that discourages static generalizations; instead, evaluations are to be based on observations specific to time and context.

NVC: a way of communicating that leads us to give from the heart.

Finally, a fourth option on receiving a negative message is to shine the light of consciousness on the other person’s feelings and needs as they are currently expressed. We might for example ask, “Are you feeling hurt because you need more consideration for your preferences?”

The first component of NVC entails the separation of observation from evaluation. We need to clearly observe what we are seeing, hearing, or touching that is affecting our sense of well-being, without mixing in any evaluation.

Many mediations I have witnessed consist of waiting for people to wear down to the point where they’ll accept any compromise. This is very different from a resolution in which everyone’s needs are met and nobody experiences loss.

our third recourse is to physically remove ourselves from the situation. We give ourselves time out and the opportunity to acquire the empathy we need to return in a different frame of mind.

when we have a judgmental dialogue going on within, we become alienated from what we are needing and cannot then act to meet those needs.