Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life: Life-Changing Tools for Healthy Relationships (Nonviolent Communication Guides)

Criticism and diagnosis get in the way of peaceful resolution of conflicts.

We all have physical needs: air, water, food, rest. And we have psychological needs such as understanding, support, honesty, and meaning.

punishment and reward interfere with people’s ability to do things motivated by the reasons we’d like them to have.

The mediator’s role is to create an environment in which the parties can connect, express their needs, understand each other’s needs, and arrive at strategies to meet those needs.

“When a, I feel b, because I am needing c. Therefore I now would like d.”

We can replace language that implies lack of choice with language that acknowledges choice.

What You Say Next Will Change Your World.

First, we observe what is actually happening in a situation: what are we observing others saying or doing that is either enriching or not enriching our life? The trick is to be able to articulate this observation without introducing any judgment or evaluation—

What’s the payoff if you depose the ego, which is all about payoffs? Once the ego is gone, do you sit around passively like a spiritual beanbag?

We are dangerous when we are not conscious of our responsibility for how we behave, think, and feel.