Rather than going out and trying to have more sex, it is more effective to change the little things that create the overall pattern of not getting much sex. Change the little things, and the big picture changes as a result.

Affirmations are only effective when used along with other processes that help change the Nice Guy’s core beliefs.

The people who like them just as they are will hang around. The people who don’t, won’t.

Toxic shame is the belief that one is inherently bad, defective, different, or unlovable. Toxic shame is not just a belief that one does bad things, it is a deeply held core belief that one is bad.

One of the most visible consequences of the repression of masculine energy in Nice Guys is their lack of leadership in their families. Out of fear of upsetting their partner or appearing too much like their controlling, authoritarian, or abusive fathers, Nice Guys frequently fail to be the leader their family needs.

Girls benefit by seeing their fathers set boundaries, ask for what they want in clear and direct ways, work hard, create, produce, have male friends, and make their own needs a priority.

The dynamics that keep Nice Guys stuck in dysfunctional, unsatisfying relationships are often the same dynamics that keep them stuck in dysfunctional and unsatisfying vocations.

Nice Guys believe they should be able to. They might be jacks-of-all-trades, but they are typically masters of none.

Then I warn him. “Your wife is telling you the truth. She doesn’t feel safe knowing she can push you around. She wants to know that you will stand up to her. That is how she will feel secure in the relationship. But, here’s the catch. She has to test to see if she can trust you. The first time you set a boundary with her she may react intensely. Sh