In general, the Nice Guys I have worked with do not report having had a close, bonded relationship with their fathers in childhood. Sometimes this was a result of their fathers working long hours, being withdrawn, or being passive.

sexual moratorium can have many benefits: •Helps break dysfunction cycles. •Eliminates pursuing and distancing. •Releases resentment. •Allows the Nice Guy to see that he can live without sex. •Helps the Nice Guy realize that no one else but him holds the key to his sexual experience. •Helps the Nice Guy see how he settles for bad sex. •Eliminates

It is fear that prevents a Nice Guy from living where he really wants to live and doing what he really wants to do.

"Of course I do," she will respond, "I don't want to be married to someone I can walk all over." Then I warn him. "Your wife is telling you the truth. She doesn't feel safe knowing she can push you around. She wants to know that you will stand up to her. That is how she will feel secure in the relationship. But, here's the catch. She has to test to

the members of my No More Mr. Nice Guy! groups have come up with a number of traits to consciously look for when creating new relationships. These traits include (in no particular order): • Passion. • Integrity. • Happiness. • Intelligence. • Sexual assertiveness. • Financial responsibility. • Commitment to personal growth.

Nice Guys have a difficult time comprehending that in general, people are not drawn to perfection in others. People are drawn to shared interests, shared problems, and an individual's life energy.

I just couldn’t do that. I couldn’t be a self-centered S.O.B. like him. I’ve got a wife, kids, a job, a mortgage, and bills to pay. There’s no room for me to start behaving like my father.”

Avoiding problems and difficult situations.

Embracing masculinity involves coming to see Dad more accurately. To facilitate this process, create a list. On the left side, list a number of your father's characteristics. Write the opposite characteristic on the right side. Indicate where on the spectrum between the two that you see yourself. When recovering Nice Guys do this exercise they are