No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline Without Shame

have the courage to allow feelings to run their full course without trying to calm, rush, fix, shush, or talk my child out of them. I might say, “You have some very strong feelings about that,” rather than yelling, “Enough!”

Don’t be afraid or take misbehavior personally.

Never, ever take a child’s limit-pushing behavior personally.

the more we welcome our children’s displeasure, the happier everyone in our household will be. There is no greater gift to our children and ourselves than complete acceptance of their negative feelings. (Notice, I did not say “behaviors”.) By deleting from our parenting job description the responsibilities to ‘soothe’, ‘correct’, and ‘control’ our

Don’t interrupt. Respect your child’s play and other chosen activities. Don’t interrupt unless absolutely necessary. Oftentimes, we realize that the runny nose or wet diaper can wait until the child is finished, or at least has a bit more time. Again, prepare children: “In a few minutes it will be time to change into your PJ’s, brush teeth and chos

“Can you do this on your own, or will you need me to give you a helping hand?”

2. Acknowledge her point-of-view, but don’t argue it.

reflect verbally (“You were upset about not getting another cracker.”), but don’t get upset or discouraged when your child has an emotional reaction to your limits.

Facilitating and observing self-directed play is one of the biggest joys of caring for babies and toddlers.