Narrative Coaching: The Definitive Guide to Bringing New Stories to Life

“possible selves” that, for better or worse, beckon us from our sense of the future. They described them as those elements of the self-concept that represent what individuals could become, would like to become, or are afraid of becoming.

“What did you want to do at that moment?” (I ) followed by, “What held you back?” (Me). The former sheds light on his instinctive desire (for better or worse), and the latter sheds light on his concerns about how he will be perceived by others.

FIGURE 26: CIRCLING THE TREE WITH OUR INQUIRY

For example, with a coachee whose desire is to become a more confident public speaker, you might help her deconstruct “confidence” by asking her to think of a time when she felt confident, notice what changes come over her body as she recounts that story, identify a verbal or somatic anchor to recall and embody in that stance, and give a presentati

new “memories of the future.”

template for maturing one of your strengths in the moment: 1. One of my strengths is. . . . However, I get defensive when . . . 2. Because I. . . . This shows up most often as . . . 3. I would grow by . . . (incorporating this aspect of my Shadow) 4. Therefore, I will mature my strength by . . . EXAMPLE 1. One of my strengths is doing whatever it t

As a coach, it is a dance between using what you know so you can coach with confidence and moving toward the unknown so you stay attuned to what is emerging.

Feeling stuck is often a sign that an underlying pattern has been activated and is, therefore, an opportunity for the coachee to notice the pattern, its trigger, and its alternative.

This work is based in a deep respect for people more than rules for how to coach;

is not about taking the person or the conversation somewhere with your questions, but rather using your questions to make the most of each and every moment.