I wanted to smash and crush my brother’s skull in the same way that I smashed vases and chairs in that sequence of physically powerful tantrums.

And Christian looked at me and slowly rose to his feet.

One moment a wraith, the next a reality, the uncertain, dreamlike vision that suddenly clears and can be seen to be real.

wretched brother,

There were things that she could not express in English. Mostly feelings, they were nevertheless of intense importance to her. To tell me she loved me in English was fine, and I shivered each time she used those magic words. But to her, true meaning came in saying “M’n care pinuth,” using her own words to express her love. I never felt as

and teased me with passionate words in her own tongue, I felt an ache in my chest, and happiness that was almost overwhelming.

I loved her more intensely than I would have believed possible.

paint, and said, “Masgoiryth k’k’ thas’k hurath. Aur’th. Uh?” “I

him.