either they didn’t know this, in which case punishment and shaming is unfair, or they did know, in which case there is likely something going on under the tip of the iceberg which means that punishment would make it even harder to meet their needs.

When competent, sensible people do something stupid, the smartest move is to try to figure out, first, what kept them from seeing it coming and, second, how to prevent the problem from happening again. Talking about blame distracts us from exploring why things went wrong and how we might correct them going forward. Focusing instead on understanding