Men Aren't Assholes, They Just Need Sex

You ought to go through life expecting the absurd, and finding joy in the fact that humans display the same behaviors over and over and over. Like animals, but even less sophisticated.

You don’t have to be best friends, you don’t have to do everything together, but what you do have to do is take care of each other. Take complete and utter responsibility for each other until death fucks it up.

The happiest and wisest couples I know are able to balance the brutal truth of being creatures with the flowery theatrics of being humans. They have a nuanced human relationship and still acknowledge the hideous (but funny and adorable) weaknesses of being animals.

Your husband’s attention, even if he’s not the most impressive guy in the world, means something. It’s your home. It’s what supports you. Most women like the strong, protective, decisive man — so they can live underneath that umbrella. And they like when, underneath that umbrella, he also listens and plays and attends. It’s safety. It’s love.

“Life is a tragedy for those who feel, and a comedy for those who think.” As a couple, you can do one of two things. You can spend your whole relationship laughing at how predictable you both are, or you can spend your whole relationship being offended by your partner’s needs. Those are your two options.

A wise husband knows that he must come home from work and put some of his energy into his wife. Listen to her describe her day; sit with her a while; help her with the kids for a bit. Whatever the case may be. Not all wives or girlfriends need the same things, but whatever she does need, it’s his job to provide it. To trade his attention and energy... See more