Magic Words

Want to be more abstract? Focus on the why.

Want to be more concrete? Focus on the how.

while concrete language focuses on the tangible here and now, abstract language gets into the bigger picture.

This curse has a name, and appropriately, it is called the curse of knowledge.5 It’s a curse because the more we know, the more we assume others know, and thus the more we end up communicating in ways that are tough to understand. And abstractness is the cause.

As a result, we often communicate using acronyms, shorthand, and other lingo. Words, phrases, or language that other experts should be able to understand. But what we forget is that while it’s easy for us to parse, others may not feel the same way. While we have spent lots of time thinking about something, or know a lot about it, we often fail to a

for someone to feel heard, three things have to happen. First, they have to feel like the other person paid attention to what they said. Second, they have to feel like the other person understood what they said. And third, the other person has to demonstrate that they listened. This last part is key.

while knowledge can sometimes be a blessing, it can also be a curse. Because once people know a lot about something, it can be difficult for them to remember what it’s like not to know that much. To imagine what it’s like not having that depth of understanding. When estimating what others know or don’t know, people often use their own knowledge as

Such abstract, generic responses help save time and effort because they’re applicable to almost any situation. But that wide applicability has a downside.

fourth type of magic words: what’s known as linguistic concreteness. Three ways to apply it are to: (1) make people feel heard, (2) make the abstract concrete, and (3) know when it’s better to be abstract.