Looking back, perhaps my professional development should have developed in the opposite direction: first self-intimacy, then emotional intimacy, and then sexual intimacy.

For many people the pattern of giving our peer group culture the power to determine our self-esteem continues into our adult life. The whole notion of “keeping up with the Joneses” abounds throughout suburbia. Owning an expensive car or a big their house in a good neighborhood can be seen as ways to validate someone’s self-esteem. Not that having n

Many parents validate their child’s self-esteem based on what activities they pursue. If a father has a son and dreams of him playing football or some other sport that the father has a passion for, he expects that his son will pursue this passion. If he does, he will get tons of validation for meeting his father’s expectations. If he doesn’t follow

All intimacy is lost and they become distant and indifferent toward you and the relationship. This change comes as such a shock and surprise because it is in such contrast to the way the relationship was going before the change took place.

When their fear of abandonment emerges, this type of dependent reacts aggressively by trying to control their partner in some way. They attack their partner’s actions, assuming that their partner intends to hurt them. They become very jealous of the opposite sex and try to cut off their partner from having contact with whoever they perceive as a th

they are constant struggling to recreate the emotional intimacy they once experienced in the beginning of their relationship. Many give up, not having the necessary tools or the skill set, and they begin to focus on other priorities such as raising children, developing a business career, or concentrating on some type of hobby or sports activity.

When these boundaries are respected, people usually live in peace; but when these boundaries aren’t respected, people and countries go to war.

On and on it goes. When I hear these questions, the first thing I ask myself is how I feel. If I am not comfortable, I don’t move forward. That’s how I set a boundary. Listening to and accepting my emotion of comfort gives me the power to set the boundary between others and myself. My emotions are a fact; I don’t have to debate their validity, and

It never has anything to do with them. This is one reason why it’s difficult to work with this type of individual in therapy. They are unable to look inward at their own behavior and how it might relate to their difficulties. They tend to play the victim in any situation. Trying to point out what they might be doing to cause their own problems is m