Then the moment arrived when it was time to make the call to her house. Making this phone call was like putting my head in a self-esteem guillotine and I felt as though I was handing the girl the rope that possibly could release the blade that would cut off my head.

Some people talk about the concept of positive affirmations, which isn’t a bad thing in and of itself. Where I have trouble with the concept is why someone has to keep doing it day after day. Somehow, what they are saying to themselves isn’t sticking or becoming a part of their internal belief system.

Looking back, perhaps my professional development should have developed in the opposite direction: first self-intimacy, then emotional intimacy, and then sexual intimacy.

It is hard to go from acting like roommates outside the bedroom, and then turn around and go into the bedroom and have a passionate, intimate sexual experience.

Unfortunately for this couple, the marriage is the foundation of the family, and when the marriage dies and…

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One analogy for the creation of the critical parent compares our brain to a blank hard drive disk. Our parents, grandparents, teachers, religious leaders, and/or the popular media sat down at the keyboard and programmed our brains with beliefs, rules, laws, and “shoulds” for how to be a person within our family, culture, or society. This is called

One way to look at this situation is that you are talking to an adult body, but with a child’s mindset. Trying to communicate with this individual can be a very frustrating experience. Don’t waste your time or energy tying to get them to see the light, because they are blinded by their dependency. Remember, you can’t get someone to change their

Because of this lack of development, the adult who is dependent has two basic problems that affect their ability to form an intimate relationship. The first is that they are not willing to interact in ways that put them at any psychological risk within the relationship. Without taking any risk, it’s impossible to form a loving, intimate

The last component required for cognitive-behavioral change is the presence of acceptance. Without an atmosphere of acceptance, people tend to resist change. When they experience judgment or criticism, they avoid the person or the experience one way or another. They hold on even tighter to their behavior or belief. They may become defensive and