Love Yourself: The First Step to a Successful Relationship

So even though my parents tried to validate my self-esteem, I gave my peer group the power to take it away.

The dependent lives in a state of denial, not realizing that if they don’t take care of their marriage, it will fall apart and they will end up in the “singles’ market.” Both partners may believe on a conscious or unconscious level that marriage is “till death do us part, so don’t worry, we will always be together.” What a nice fantasy in today’s w

When a person moves out of their comfort zone, they are stepping into a whole new world, and there is a tendency to hang on to the old, even though it’s causing psychological difficulty.

The co-dependent has a false sense of power and control regarding their relationship with others. They become frustrated because their partner isn’t changing in the way they think they should. Given that they have the belief they can change the people they are involved with, they try harder to get them to change. They lecture and use logical persua

Another by-product of self-acceptance is that when I am less critical of myself, I am less critical and judgmental of others, which enables me to be around people who have different beliefs and attitudes, including political views or musical tastes. When I was self-critical, I would put people down who were different from me in any way. As a result

When these boundaries are respected, people usually live in peace; but when these boundaries aren’t respected, people and countries go to war.

The language of the critical parent usually is made up of some basic phrases. The first critical parent phrase that I hear frequently is that “I should or shouldn’t” do something. I ask this person, “If someone else told you that you ‘should or shouldn’t’ do something without you asking for their input how would you feel?” Most adults would answer

The reality is that there are psychological payoffs to being a co-dependent even if the individual is unaware of them. The first psychological payoff is a false sense of power and control. If a person believes that they are responsible…

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When I encounter a client who is confused about what is the best path to take and he is impatient with his indecision, I tell him that he needs to do more emotional research. Usually people who are on the fence about a decision make a pro and con list, either in their heads or on a piece of paper. This is an intellectual exercise that doesn’t help