Love Yourself: The First Step to a Successful Relationship

When their fear of abandonment emerges, this type of dependent reacts aggressively by trying to control their partner in some way. They attack their partner’s actions, assuming that their partner intends to hurt them. They become very jealous of the opposite sex and try to cut off their partner from having contact with whoever they perceive as a th

In both of these responses, the patient believes he is communicating his emotions, but there is no mention of any emotion. He uses the phrase “I feel,” but no emotional words follow. What he is really expressing is his thoughts or judgments, but not emotion.

The pay-off in this type of behavior for the child is loads of attention, even though the attention is usually negative. As they say, some type of attention is better than none. If a child is reinforced with attention for rebellious behavior, then he will continue to act that way. The problem is that the child starts to develop an identity of being

This inability to take personal responsibility makes it difficult, if not impossible, to work with a client like this in a therapeutic context. The client doesn’t want to look at their own behavior and try to understand the reasons and motivations for their actions. They just want to talk about the individual

Often in a relationship breakup or dissolution, the partner who wants to stay together believes that they have failed in keeping their relationship together. Again, they are working under the assumption that they somehow had control in the first place and that they failed at maintaining control. Sometimes I hear comments like: “What’s wrong with yo

The concept that one shouldn’t hurt someone else emotionally is dysfunctional. To liberate myself from its tyranny, I made a new rule or belief that stated that I am going to hurt someone emotionally. I can’t control the outcome of what I say or what I do. In other words, how someone reacts or interprets what I say or do is his choice. It’s not tha

The individual who is generally emotional dependent in a relationship is often the male. Men in this culture are not taught or prepared to be on their own emotionally.

family. The “should” from my mother was an extreme position with no middle ground. I needed balance, so I gave myself a break, saying, “I could start a project and stop even though it wasn’t finished and focus my time on something else.”

The last component required for cognitive-behavioral change is the presence of acceptance. Without an atmosphere of acceptance, people tend to resist change. When they experience judgment or criticism, they avoid the person or the experience one way or another. They hold on even tighter to their behavior or belief. They may become defensive and sto

However, after years of practicing relationship therapy and counseling, I now believe that there are two basic personal requirements that both partners need to fulfill to have a long-lasting intimate relationship. Once these requirements are met, the basic psychological foundation is established. Although this is by no means a guarantee, it sure in