Love Warrior

risk revealing my true self to it. I felt too weak

partly because of my wiring and partly because

Growing up is an unbecoming. My healing has been a peeling away of costume after costume until here I am, still and naked and unashamed before God, stripped down to my real identity. I have unbecome. And now I stand: Warrior. Undressed for battle. Strong and benevolent. Both yin and yang. Complete, not in need of completing.

It’s a holy space we can enter with people only if we promise not to tidy up.

We think our job as humans is to avoid pain, our job as parents is to protect our children from pain, and our job as friends is to fix each other’s pain. Maybe that’s why we all feel like failures so often—because we all have the wrong job description for love. What my friends didn’t know about me and I didn’t know about Amma is that people who are

So what is it in a human life that creates bravery, kindness, wisdom, and resilience? What if it’s pain? What if it’s the struggle? What if I was trying to take from Amma the one thing that would make her the woman I dreamed she’d become? The bravest people I know are those who’ve walked through the fire and come out on the other side.

We either allow ourselves to feel the burn of our own pain or someone we love gets burned by it. Craig

So we consume and consume but it never works, because you can never get enough of what you don’t need.

Today I feel different. I want to be healthy. I just don’t know how. I feel like my heart is failing and I’ve been trying to perform heart surgery on myself.