Love and Respect

At the time, I couldn’t describe my feelings with a word like disrespected. During those years, when the feminists were going full blast, men didn’t talk about being disrespected by women. That would have been arrogant, and in church circles it would have been considered a terrible lack of humility.

That evening as Sarah and I had dinner, she softly asked, “So, did you and Ray celebrate my birthday today?” I can’t describe exactly what goes on inside the human body at a moment like that. But it felt as if my blood went out of my heart, down to my feet, and then shot full force into my face. How would I ever explain this one?

“You were boring in our Bible study tonight,” she said, almost angrily. “You intimidate people with your silence. And when you do talk, you sometimes say something insensitive. What you said to the new couple came across poorly.”

For example, Sarah and I are very different regarding social interaction.

“those who marry will face many troubles in this life . . .”(1 Corinthians 7:28 NIV)

hint of how husbands and wives can get into arguments over practically nothing. That first Christmas Sarah made me a jean jacket. I opened the box, held up the jacket, and thanked her.

How can I get my husband to love me as much as I love him?” This

As I wrestled with the problem, I finally saw a connection: without love from him, she reacts without respect; without respect from her, he reacts without love. Around and around it goes. I call it the Crazy Cycle—marital craziness that has thousands of couples in its grip.

I wrote this book out of desperation that was turned into inspiration. As a pastor, I counseled married couples and could not solve their problems. The major problem I heard from wives was, “He doesn’t love me.” Wives are made to love, want to love, and expect love. Many husbands fail to deliver. But as I kept studying Scripture and counseling coup