We live in a world where most people still subscribe to the belief that shame is a good tool for keeping people in line. Not only is this wrong, but it’s dangerous. Shame is highly correlated with addiction, violence, aggression, depression, eating disorders, and bullying.

After what’s now been two decades of research, I found that people with high levels of shame resilience share these four elements: 1. They understand shame and recognize what messages and expectations trigger shame for them. 2. They practice critical awareness by reality-checking the messages and expectations that tell us that being imperfect means

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