Bill’s listening was usually accompanied by a lot of questions, a Socratic approach. A 2016 Harvard Business Review article notes that this approach of asking questions is essential to being a great listener: “People perceive the best listeners to be those who periodically ask questions that promote discovery and insight.”8

When we listen autobiographically—with our own perspective as our frame of reference—we tend to respond in one of four ways: 1) Evaluate: agree or disagree with what is said; 2) Probe: Ask questions from our own frame of reference; 3) Advise: Give counsel based on our own experience; and 4) Interpret: Project motives and behavior based on our motiv