You taught us to give our lives and work to the liberation of black children in this country. I am working on that, and I finally understand there can be no liberation when our most intimate relationships are built on—and really inflected by—deception, abuse, misdirection, antiblackness, patriarchy, and bald-faced lies. Not teaching me this would

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1. Love you sons as they are, not as you wish they were. You made mistakes as teen just like I did—and you probably worried about how your father would react. Regardless of how your dad handled your shortcomings, love and accept your son as he is. Never forget that he is a masterpiece in the making.




2. Surround your son with other good men. Every boy

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I will send a draft of the book to you when I think it’s done. I will take out some of what you say needs to be taken out. I will not ignore your questions about my weight. I will not punish myself. I will not misdirect or manipulate human beings, regardless of their age, especially those human beings who love me enough to risk being misdirected or

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