. . . the match [is] not always or primarily instrumental to getting a date but rather as producing a form of satisfaction in its own right. [. . .] A match feels like a confidence-boost; it is a sign that the Other sees you and likes you [. . . ]. Admittedly, it is ephemeral, but it is also replicable, so the sense of void that follows the fleetin... See more

The real thing people should be actively looking for is strong emotional connection, as in: to what degree can I share who I am with this person, do they get it , how interested are they in who I am, my feelings and thoughts, can we accommodate each other’s preferences, are we good at talking. Once I asked a very happy couple how they knew they wer... See more