Came across this gem from the great Hanif Kureishi —
"One falls in love, and then learns, for the duration, that one is at the mercy of someone else's childhood."
And I thought: someone else’s childhood and also one’s own.
Junot Díazsubstack.comJunot Díaz on Substack
But the metaphor is suggestive in another way: it is a reminder of the ways that love is incubated in the home, that the household is also a deeply formative (or deformative) space that teaches us how to love from infancy. We love because he first loved us, but we learn how to love at home.
James K. A. Smith • You Are What You Love: The Spiritual Power of Habit
We all have a psychological child within our psychological make-up, because we were all kids once. The issue now in adulthood is what type of child we were when we lived with our parents. The reason is that this will impact our behavior in an adult intimate relationship. We bring a style of behavior and a set of reactions that have origins in our c
... See moreDaniel Beaver • Love Yourself: The First Step to a Successful Relationship
Those of us who do not learn how to love among family are expected to experience love in romantic relationships. However, this love often eludes us. And we spend a lifetime undoing the damage caused by cruelty, neglect, and all manner of lovelessness experienced in our families of origin and in relationships where we simply did not know what to do.