It’s Unfair and It Doesn’t Make Sense

“It’s unfair and it doesn’t make sense.” That was the only thing anybody said that made me feel better. The breakup call ended at 2am and the only friend of mine who would be awake was in Australia. So, I left a half-hour audio message for Madeleine. And, as I frantically searched for medicine and meaning, she gave me this gift: There’s n

It was so hard not to offer anything. I’ve been through enough that I know I shouldn’t try to find a bright side, or explain away the pain, or say “I know how you feel,” but it was extremely uncomfortable to sit with someone my age who was dying, or with the family member of someone who just got very bad news. I was in the position of hel

The way our culture of  offering  is set up, the whole-hearted feel like they have something of worth to say to the broken-hearted, the denizens of the healthy think they know more than the sick. Around those who are in pain, people suddenly assume the role of expert: “I suggest feeling your feelings. Be grateful for the good in your life

I’ve given up on manifesting, and assigning purpose, and turning over every stone for meaning, because acknowledging the unfairness of the awfulness makes room for the unfairness of the goodness.