It Didn't Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle
Mark Wolynnamazon.com
It Didn't Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle
This particular study suggests that even if humans receive supportive parenting as infants, we are still the recipients of the stress our parents experienced before we were conceived.
One such interruption comes about when we have experienced a personal trauma.
the traumas we inherit or experience firsthand can not only create a legacy of distress, but also forge a legacy of strength and resilience that can be felt for generations to come.
The particulars of the events that shaped their lives may be obscured from our vision, but nevertheless, the impact of those particulars can be deeply felt. It’s not only what we inherit from our parents but also how they were parented that influences how we relate to a partner, how we relate to ourselves, and how we nurture our children. For bette
... See moreAdam Gopnik writes about the difference between gurus and teachers in his book Through the Children’s Gate: “A guru gives us himself and then his system; a teacher gives us his subject and then ourselves.” The great teachers understand that where we come from affects where we go, and that what sits unresolved in our past influences our present. The
... See moreIn our fear and anxiety, we often try to control our environment to feel safe.
The emotions, traits, and behaviors we reject in our parents will likely live on in us.
As with many stories of healing and transformation, what started out looking like adversity was actually grace in disguise.
When we pit one parent against the other, we go against the source of our own existence, and unconsciously create a rift inside ourselves. We forget that half of us comes from our mother and half from our father.