The famed champion of legal and social reform Clarence Darrow once said, “The most human thing we can do is comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.” The Self has the courage to do both.

Now I’ve learned a way of relating to my anxiety that makes such events interesting challenges rather than dreaded ordeals. Instead of attacking or ignoring my anxiety, I try to get into a curious state, focus inside on it, and ask it some questions. As I focus on the feeling, I notice that it seems to emanate from a knot in my gut, so I focus

Once I focused on that anger and asked questions of it, I learned that it was indeed an adolescent personality in me that not only was angry but also hurt and afraid. He believed he had to protect me from being hurt by people I got close to, so he led with his anger in times of danger. However, that anger is not his essence—it just comes with the

What about the part of you that gets extremely defensive when you argue with your intimate partner or close friend? In the middle of the fight, you suddenly become that part—seeing your partner or friend through its eyes; taking on its distorted, black/white, blame/guilt perspective; stubbornly refusing to give an inch; and saying nasty things.

We are defensive not because someone is attacking us but rather because the attack is likely to provoke our inner critics, which in turn trigger the worthlessness and terror we accumulated as children. Whatever slight we receive in the present triggers an echo chamber inside us of all the similar hurts we’ve accumulated from the past. Contemporary

Thus it seems clear that this mindful state of Self is not just a peaceful place from which to witness the world, nor just a state to which one can go to transcend the world; the Self also has healing, creative, and performance-enhancing qualities. When my clients entered this Self state, they didn’t just passively witness their parts—they began to

The Path Exercise (You may want to have someone read this exercise to you.) Get in a relaxed position and take several deep breaths. Imagine you are at the base of a path. It can be any path—one you are familiar with or one you have never been on before. Before you go anywhere on the path, meet with your emotions and thoughts (your parts) at the

As I explored the writings of some of these esoteric schools, including the Mahayana school (Buddhism) and Sufism (Islam), it gradually dawned on me that through interacting with people’s parts in ways that allowed the individuals to separate from their emotions and beliefs, I had accidentally come upon a simple way to help people access the state

Given how much parts can interfere in our lives and make us feel horrible, it makes sense that we wish we could get rid of them. It’s hard to see any value in an inner voice that constantly berates you or a fear in your gut that makes you withdraw. These parts have such devastating power over us that the natural impulse is to hate and fight them.