Introduction to Internal Family Systems

Given how much parts can interfere in our lives and make us feel horrible, it makes sense that we wish we could get rid of them. It’s hard to see any value in an inner voice that constantly berates you or a fear in your gut that makes you withdraw. These parts have such devastating power over us that the natural impulse is to hate and fight them. A

the eight Cs of Self-leadership—calmness, clarity, curiosity, compassion, confidence, courage, creativity, and connectedness.

Thus it seems clear that this mindful state of Self is not just a peaceful place from which to witness the world, nor just a state to which one can go to transcend the world; the Self also has healing, creative, and performance-enhancing qualities. When my clients entered this Self state, they didn’t just passively witness their parts—they began to

As I explored the writings of some of these esoteric schools, including the Mahayana school (Buddhism) and Sufism (Islam), it gradually dawned on me that through interacting with people’s parts in ways that allowed the individuals to separate from their emotions and beliefs, I had accidentally come upon a simple way to help people access the state

Now I’ve learned a way of relating to my anxiety that makes such events interesting challenges rather than dreaded ordeals. Instead of attacking or ignoring my anxiety, I try to get into a curious state, focus inside on it, and ask it some questions. As I focus on the feeling, I notice that it seems to emanate from a knot in my gut, so I focus ther

Then there’s developmental psychology, which maintains that our basic nature is dependent on the kind of parenting we received. If you were fortunate to have “good enough” parenting during certain critical periods in your early development, you emerged from childhood with a certain amount of “ego strength.” If you didn’t, you were out of luck. You

In this chapter we will explore this idea of the Self because it is the centerpiece of the IFS Model and the hardest piece for most people to fully accept. The idea that at your essence you are pure joy and peace, and that from that place you are able to manifest clusters of wonderful leadership and healing qualities and sense a spiritual connected

What about the part of you that gets extremely defensive when you argue with your intimate partner or close friend? In the middle of the fight, you suddenly become that part—seeing your partner or friend through its eyes; taking on its distorted, black/white, blame/guilt perspective; stubbornly refusing to give an inch; and saying nasty things. Lat

The famed champion of legal and social reform Clarence Darrow once said, “The most human thing we can do is comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.” The Self has the courage to do both.