The Customer Effort Score doesn’t measure actual effort; it measures perceived effort, which matters at least as much.

but a hidden benefit of saying no to others is the implicit permission you give others to say no, too.

Goldilocks strategy. You propose something you think will be ideal for the other person, along with one alternative that’s far less than you think they need and one that’s far more than you think they need.

Most decision-making is habitual and relatively effortless. This is System 1. Like

Shining is the electric connection that gives someone the feeling of being the only other person in the room.

soft ask sounds like this: “Is this the kind of thing you might be interested in?” Or “If I were to ask you ______ , what would you think?” Or “How comfortable would you feel doing ______?” Or “I’m not trying to push you to decide, but where would you say we are right now between one and ten, if ten is all in and one is never going to happen?”

What would it take? I call this the Magic Question, and it’s my favorite influence strategy.

When Danny Meyer, the restaurateur behind famous eateries like the Union Square Cafe and Gramercy Tavern, came to speak at Yale School of Management, he suggested a new frame. “You’re all in the hospitality business,” he

To go deeper still, you can listen for the other person’s unspoken values. Why