The hero is the human being who dares descend into the darkest depths of the unconscious—to the very source of our creative power—and there confronts the monsters thrown up by the fright-stricken infant psyche. As the hero pursues the journey, the phantoms and dragons all vanish or lose power or even become allies.

“Each carries within himself the all,” wrote Joseph Campbell, “therefore it may be sought and discovered within.”

Partners, friends and family, whether despondently or optimistically trying to pressure the addict to change, would do well to remember the immortal words of Yogi Berra: “If the people don’t want to come to the ball game, there’s nothing you can do to stop them.”

If we want to open up a healing space for others, we first have to find it in ourselves.

Whether I am a soothing presence or one that generates tension depends not on the situation but on my own state of mind. I am responsible.

In my medical school days I often escaped into television addiction, mindlessly flipping channels without enjoying anything I watched, wasting precious hours and keeping myself awake late into the night. I finally struck on the bright idea of putting a tiny lock into the hole in the prong of the television plug, preventing it from fitting into the

A tremendous step forward, albeit a very difficult one, is for people who are in relationship with the addict not to take his behaviours personally. This is one of the hardest challenges for human beings—and that is precisely why it’s a core teaching in many wisdom traditions. The addict doesn’t engage in his habits out of a desire to betray or

The truth is, a wife who thinks she does not have plenty of her own spiritual or psychological work to do, that is, one for whom another’s behavior becomes the central determinant of her own emotional/spiritual condition, is not in touch with the truth.”

Although we may believe we are acting out of love, when we are critical of others or work very hard to change them, it’s always about ourselves. “The alcoholic’s wife is adding to the level of shame her husband experiences,” says Anne, a veteran of AA. “In effect, she is saying to the addict, he is bad and she is good. Perhaps she is in denial