In most cases, when you stop people outright with a “No,” it will make them defensive because you have probably just shot down something they wanted to convey.

“So, I guess that’s where the exit is.” “You must be really great at tennis.” “Sounds like it wasn’t a very fun party.” “You must have hated that.” “I bet you’re a big foodie.”

It’s necessary that players are open and comfortable with venturing into unknown territory, because any expectations will likely be completely unmet.

People generally don’t tell others about their emotional state, or how they feel about topics of conversation. You’ll rarely hear statements such as, “I am uncomfortable with this topic, but if you want to discuss this we can,” or, “This is a topic I am trying to avoid, so I am going to try to deflect by talking about the weather.”

If you’re someone who’s afraid of adding to conversations or speaking up, keep in mind that it’s never as bad as you think it will be.

open-ended questions lead to awkward silence or minefields.

If you can accurately catch the emotions people are conveying, even though they may not be stating them explicitly, they will feel that you understand them better and be more drawn to you.

What makes really good conversation sparkle the way it does? It’s not planned, it’s not serious, it’s not forced. It’s closer to flirting or spontaneous dancing to good music than it is to a meeting or a performance.

We could stand to play a bit more, since play takes people’s guards down and sets the stage for actual connection.