Queerness is located not just inside me but also interpersonally, in the dynamics I seek and feel seen by. I have stopped sleeping with my friends with as much frequency, but sexual desire is no longer feared or categorically denied in our relationships. I now live with my closest friends from childhood. We met at eleven, we were children together

That summer let me reveal something to myself, in full, that I had always known but been afraid of – the line between friend and lover is so thin so as to be barely there. I have always been someone who is made anxious and upset by arbitrary boundaries. I like to know why limits are drawn where they are; I need a reason. I see nothing wrong with

“I think I always had a disconnect between desire for touch and the negotiation of what that touch would mean. I had sex for many reasons, but physical desire was, at that time, rarely one of them.”