I Followed Common Advice for Making Friends. Then I Learned What It Really Takes.

have identified a number of ingredients that are core to the creation and continuation of quality friendships. I call them the Seeds of Connection: proximity, frequency, compatibility and commitment.

As Weiner points out, “Friendships almost always happen extremely gradually as a result of shared time and continued effort.” Take things slow and take a genuine interest in people to develop real friendships that can last beyond a few casual lunch dates. It’s normal if you’re feeling a little rusty. “It’s okay for things to be a bit uncomfortable

ALWAYS FOLLOW UP We all meet people but we rarely take the time to follow up and actually begin a friendship. Analyzing eight million phone calls between two million people, researchers at Notre Dame found that what makes close friendships endure is simply staying in touch every two weeks.

How do you intentionally cultivate and care for your friendships? What’s working or not working?