I Followed Common Advice for Making Friends. Then I Learned What It Really Takes.

The real act of, say, building a friendship or creating a community involves performing a series of small, concrete social actions well: disagreeing without poisoning the relationship; revealing vulnerability at the appropriate pace; being a good listener; knowing how to end a conversation gracefully; knowing how to ask for and offer forgiveness; k

ALWAYS FOLLOW UP We all meet people but we rarely take the time to follow up and actually begin a friendship. Analyzing eight million phone calls between two million people, researchers at Notre Dame found that what makes close friendships endure is simply staying in touch every two weeks.

Even friendship is often cemented with sacrifice. Sharing secrets and intimate details, for example, makes you vulnerable but engenders trust. In my own life, one of the things that helps me feel closer to someone is wasting time together . My childhood and teenage friends are dear to me in part because we've sacrificed countless hours to each othe