" Be kind to yourself, but at the same time skeptical and constructively critical, and you might just find the real you in there somewhere."

A news story is released, and many people will immediately respond in very predictable and scripted ways. Typically, their response is almost verbatim what their affiliated groups (e.g., religious, political) tout. If they are silent, they risk being labeled as ignorant at best or affiliates of the “opposing” group (along with a string of character... See more

After letting go of the guilt associated with “losing” core parts of myself, I quickly realized how nurturing it was to function as me first. My curiosity skyrocketed because I felt safe questioning; I became less dogmatic and even grew proud of the ability to change my mind when presented with new information; my sense of self was no longer... See more

This essay is a combination of personal reflection on the self and identity labels, the restrictions that label-based belonging imposes and the discomfort that freedom can bring. Included are good mental models, praise for values-based life navigation, and interpretations of popular culture.

When approached with caution, labels can genuinely be useful to us and others. We just have to periodically check in with ourselves to make sure we are not being controlled and consumed by our labels.

The problem here, Fromm emphasizes, is not whether or not the beliefs are correct—the problem is whether or not the beliefs are a result of one’s own thinking. It is certainly possible that someone, through their original reasoning, can arrive at the same beliefs as the person I described above. The difference is that they came to these beliefs... See more

If I am seeing the world through an identity-first lens, what happens to the image I have constructed of myself once a core part of it is challenged? In this scenario, I am forced to either:

1. Subscribe to additional identity labels or come up with numerous caveats to explain why my experience contradicts that of someone else in my identity group


2. Deny

... See more

So, why are we so drawn to labels? When we label ourselves, we are in essence joining a community built around that label... The downside, if we ever realize it, is that we lose our genuine selves...

"When you call it a model, you're not tricking yourself, you're actually unpacking yourself. You're reframing to bring your relationship with that idea to where it should be, to where it makes sense." — Tim