Saved by Jay Matthews and
I Am Me Before I Am Anything Else
"I always insist on my agency as a thinker. I have the right to read what I like to read. I think that is actually more radical: to insist that because I have my own mind, I will be influenced by whom I choose, and I will write what I choose." — Ocean Vuong
sundus • I Am Me Before I Am Anything Else
When approached with caution, labels can genuinely be useful to us and others. We just have to periodically check in with ourselves to make sure we are not being controlled and consumed by our labels.
sundus • I Am Me Before I Am Anything Else
"When you make that shift internally, what happens is, you release the ego from having to cling to that belief, right? Models should prove things. And models also need to be tested, right? Because you always want to see if you're right or not." — Jim
sundus • I Am Me Before I Am Anything Else
The problem here, Fromm emphasizes, is not whether or not the beliefs are correct—the problem is whether or not the beliefs are a result of one’s own thinking. It is certainly possible that someone, through their original reasoning, can arrive at the same beliefs as the person I described above. The difference is that they came to these beliefs gen... See more
sundus • I Am Me Before I Am Anything Else
This essay is a combination of personal reflection on the self and identity labels, the restrictions that label-based belonging imposes and the discomfort that freedom can bring. Included are good mental models, praise for values-based life navigation, and interpretations of popular culture.
sundus • I Am Me Before I Am Anything Else
The self as a concept is complex and widely debated. But regardless of what you believe, I think we can largely agree that our sense of self is precious and needs to be safeguarded from self-sabotage or violation from others.
sundus • I Am Me Before I Am Anything Else
" Be kind to yourself, but at the same time skeptical and constructively critical, and you might just find the real you in there somewhere."
sundus • I Am Me Before I Am Anything Else
The upside is so powerful that it often masks the downside, which is why so many people find themselves in a state of automaton conformity:
- we gain a community that (superficially) makes us feel secure; we do not feel isolated or out of place or weird;
- we are provided with (and rewarded for taking) shortcuts for what to believe in, what to do, and
sundus • I Am Me Before I Am Anything Else
So, why are we so drawn to labels? When we label ourselves, we are in essence joining a community built around that label... The downside, if we ever realize it, is that we lose our genuine selves...
sundus • I Am Me Before I Am Anything Else
After letting go of the guilt associated with “losing” core parts of myself, I quickly realized how nurturing it was to function as me first. My curiosity skyrocketed because I felt safe questioning; I became less dogmatic and even grew proud of the ability to change my mind when presented with new information; my sense of self was no longer fragil... See more