the words you choose will affect the voice that they hear, or the personality they perceive. For example, if you take a very formal tone, the reader might hear you as a stuffy civil servant. If you’re telling them facts, they might hear you more like a teacher. If you tell them what to do, they might respond to you as a parent – and if you’re

Transactional Analysis (TA) suggests that each of us has three ego states: Parent, Adult and Child.[159] Our Adult responds to what is happening in the here-and-now. Our Parent is based on behaviours copied from our own parents, while our Child is based on things we did when growing up.

you need to consider two sides of the reader’s emotions: how they feel about your message itself, and how they feel about the way you express it.

By showing that you’ve thought about what the reader knows – and what they want to know, or need to know – you show that you care about them, and you’re here to help.

when people are telling the truth, they don’t need to hide behind fancy words. When we say someone is ‘plain speaking’, we mean their words are both simple and honest;

The reader’s emotions matter because they affect how they receive your message. If they feel anxious, or angry, or frustrated while reading, it will be harder for them to process your message and take it on board.[152]

when you aim to show empathy in your writing, you’ll be thinking about the situation or emotional state that your reader is most likely to be in,

Cognitive empathy is about knowing the contents of someone else’s mind – what they know, think and feel. Emotional or affective empathy is about actually feeling the same emotion as someone else, responding to their plight or feeling compassion for them.[150]

Empathy is about feeling the same things as your reader. The word ‘empathy’ comes from the German Einfühlung, which literally means ‘feeling into’. When you empathise with someone, you put yourself in their shoes. You imagine yourself in their situation, and understand their experience as if you were experiencing it yourself.