PRINCIPLE 4 Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.

“A great man shows his greatness,” said Carlyle, “by the way he treats little men.”

PRINCIPLE 1 Don’t criticize, condemn or complain.

So the only way on earth to influence other people is to talk about what they want and show them how to get it.

The difference between appreciation and flattery? That is simple. One is sincere and the other insincere. One comes from the heart out; the other from the teeth out. One is unselfish; the other selfish. One is universally admired; the other universally condemned.

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain — and most fools do. But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.

PRINCIPLE 9 Be sympathetic with the other person’s ideas and desires.

PRINCIPLE 9 Make the other person happy about doing the thing you suggest.

PRINCIPLE 5 Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.