Wait too long, and ignorance becomes evidence of something far more nefarious.

It’s about life outlook. It’s not so much “I don’t want you to divorce me” but “I want you to be happily married to me.” Those are two totally different ideas. You’re not interested in white-knuckling it through until death does one of you part. You’re interested in having the best, most mutually enriching, joy-filled, good-sex-filled life with

You stay interesting to your partner by staying interested in things outside your life together.

The most dangerous lies are the ones we tell ourselves.

The language of “deserving” and “entitlement” and its offshoots—such as the now ubiquitous term “self-care,” used to validate virtually any self-indulgent behavior as some progress toward the greater good—sounds very much like the language used by so many of the people I speak with who’ve had ruinous affairs. They rationalize their behavior as

Hit Send Now is a way to share how you’re feeling without attempting to explain it. You feel how you feel. And those feelings have repercussions both short- and long-term. They inform how we relate to our spouse or partner on a day-to-day basis. They create habits that build intimacy or distance. We owe it to ourselves and our partners to share the

From the outside, no one knows anything about anyone. No one. Nothing.

The traits you need to fix the marriage are, unfortunately, the traits that would have been required to prevent it from breaking in the first place.

Just look at the story we tell when we’re first meeting and falling in love. The level of dissimulation on a first date is through the roof. We dress in a way we don’t normally dress, talk in a way we don’t normally talk, hold ourselves a certain way, curate our histories, all an elaborate, dissembling show. It’s fair to say that if you find