people-pleasers often lose track of their preferences. write them down as they reappea

small rules begin shaping your days: giving yourself time before replying when something feels demanding, not inserting yourself into feelings others should handle, pausing long enough to consider a request, treating your hours as meaningful, and refusing to wear constant fatigue like a personal trait. these choices add up in the background,... See more

a lifetime of people-pleasing teaches you to be watchful. attentive. hyper-aware of how you’re perceived. so the first step in rebuilding your identity is incredibly quiet and incredibly uncomfortable: you start paying attention to your own reactions. you begin to see the patterns: the automatic yes that slips out when you’re running on empty, the... See more

it’s a personality built like a shield. and when you’ve lived that way for years or decades rebuilding your identity feels less like reinvention and more like learning how to inhabit your own life for the first time.