How to Make Friends as an Adult
On Finding Your People:
I’m told I have an unusual talent for finding wonderful people. Below is my strategy for having a rich social life in any large city
Disclaimer: This will require you acting in a way that is not normal. You may need to decide whether you want to be normal yet lonely or unusual yet connected
0. Treat it as a second job.
For... See more
why it's hard to make friends as an adult:
where there's shared context (seeing the same people over many months daily i.e. workplaces) there's a lack of shared interests
where there's shared interest (hobby groups, bookclubs, etc) there's a lack of shared context
where there's shared context (seeing the same people over many months daily i.e. workplaces) there's a lack of shared interests
where there's shared interest (hobby groups, bookclubs, etc) there's a lack of shared context
Patricia Mou • Tweet
For most people, loneliness doesn't stem from a lack of friends. It comes from not feeling connected to the friends you already have, while "peering in" on their lives via social media. (You can read more about this in the ancient text Big Friendship.) This problem is not fixable if you expect community to just happen naturally . It is fixable if y... See more
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You need shared contexts and shared interests. The reason why it’s difficult to make friends as an adult is because where there's shared context (seeing the same people over many months daily i.e. workplaces) there's a lack of shared interests. Where there's shared interest (hobby groups, bookclubs, etc) there's a lack of shared context. A place li... See more
it becomes tougher to meet the three conditions that sociologists since the 1950s have considered crucial to making close friends: proximity; repeated, unplanned interactions; and a setting that encourages people to let their guard down and confide in each other, said Rebecca G. Adams, a professor of sociology and gerontology at the University of N... See more