How to Find Freedom Under Pressure

Make space for what’s hard

We can’t point ourselves toward what matters until we stop running. And when we stop running, we come into contact with whatever it is we’ve been running from.

When I look back at the things I’ve felt pulled to avoid—difficult conversations, key decisions, important but challenging tasks—these are often connected to some r... See more

The first step toward freedom is to notice when you’re falling into aversive control. In other words, you can’t stop running until you realize that you’re doing it.

For example, as you’re joining a meeting or beginning work on a task, you could ask yourself, “At this moment, am I oriented toward what matters or away from pain?” Sometimes, this quest... See more

“Liberation,” viewed through a behavioral lens, is the ability to orient toward what’s appetitive (i.e., pleasant or meaningful), even in an environment full of aversive stimuli. For me, this has meant learning to stay connected to a larger vision and the joy of creativity, even during difficult times.

Yet, this is hard to do. When we perceive a th... See more