How To Do The Work: Recognise Your Patterns, Heal from Your Past, and Create Your Self

For the child in that moment, it was an extremely distressing situation, resulting in them feeling rejected at a time when the need for peer validation is an important part of development.

surface. Many of us were raised by parent-figures who had difficulty navigating their emotions as a result of their own unresolved childhood pain. They may have projected this pain onto us directly, when they urged us not to cry, or indirectly, when they withdrew in response to our displays of emotion.

Doing breathwork engages the autonomic nervous system; it’s like doing planks for the vagus nerve.

That’s because your subconscious perceives a threat (using your nervous system’s sixth sense of neuroception) in a nonthreatening environment (the party) and has activated your body, putting you into a state of fight (argue with anyone and everyone), flight (leave the party), or freeze (don’t say a word). The social world has become a space filled

Still, she rarely showed any emotion in relation to his loss. She remained composed, almost numb, when discussing him.

majority of us feel unseen, unheard, and unloved and we carry this pain with us throughout our lives.

predict the familiar outcome.

Thirty days later, Ally added journalling to her morning ritual and began to follow my prompts for an exercise that I call Future Self Journalling (you can grab the whole guide for free at https://yourholisticpsychologist.com), and created for my own healing.

Though it may seem as though our core beliefs are our own because we’ve practised them without question, they came to us mostly from our parent-figures, home and community environments, and earliest experiences.