How to build deeper, more robust relationships | Carole Robin (Stanford GSB professor, “Touchy Feely”)

few suggestions: 1. Be not afraid! Creating intimacy requires courage, not just for you, but for everyone. Chances are, you’ve had at least some degree of success in forming intimate relationships at some time in your life. It’s the same thing here. 2. People in senior positions appreciate candor, but candor isn’t necessarily intimacy, and they val

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The most meaningful relationships are achieved when you and others can speak openly to each other about everything that’s important, learn together, and understand the need to hold each other accountable to be as excellent as you can be. When you have such relationships with those you work with, you pull each other through challenging times; at the... See more

If you want to get close to someone, you must enter what I call the zone of engagement. This is the space where people get close enough to each other to become vulnerable. Vulnerability causes fear and fear leads to conflict. But if the conflict is handled properly, a real bond is created. Conflict becomes a kind of sense organ through which you re

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I think we would all be happier if spent more time introducing our friends to each other; if, to borrow Duncan’s phrase, we imagined that we are “head of people operations for the entire hedge fund ecosystem”; if we focused less on our criteria and more on seeing people, letting our curiosity steer the relationships where they want to go.

The real act of, say, building a friendship or creating a community involves performing a series of small, concrete social actions well: disagreeing without poisoning the relationship; revealing vulnerability at the appropriate pace; being a good listener; knowing how to end a conversation gracefully; knowing how to ask for and offer forgiveness; k

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Gibson says that bringing emotionally connected people into your world isn’t a one-way street: equally as important is engaging with them in emotionally healthy ways. To do this, always strive to be your authentic self, clearly communicate your true needs, interests and desires, ask for help when you need it, and stay connected with people who supp

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