How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving

Love cannot be defined in a universal way because our experience of love is ours alone. Just as there is no single, universal signature but only unique, personal signatures, so there is no love in general, only unique love uniquely experienced by each unique person. I learn what love is when I first feel loved. It is then encoded in every cell of m

Appreciation gives depth to acceptance: “I admire you; I delight in you; I prize you; I respect you; I acknowledge you and all your potential. I appreciate you as unique.” To acquire the riches of personal worth and self-confidence, we need just such encouragement. Human evolution proceeds from human accomplishments and consequent validations. But

The word mindfulness is actually a misnomer since the act itself involves mind-emptying not mind-filling.

It is exactly the same in relationships. Our early experience forms or deforms our adult relationships.

Every cell of your little body knew the difference between being held supportively and being clutched to fulfill a parent’s needs. You knew when something was being given and when it was being taken.

The ratio of appreciation to complaint in couples that stay together is five to one,

Judgment

Paying attention and letting go are the twin tools that will be presented throughout these pages.

It is a joy to be hidden but a disaster not to be found.