The unconditional presence of someone who loves us hearkens back to the past and repairs our childhood sense of being unwanted. At the same time, no human being can or is expected to be fully and unconditionally present all the time. An individual…

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Appreciation gives depth to acceptance: “I admire you;

The word mindfulness is actually a misnomer since the act itself involves mind-emptying not mind-filling.

mindful presence frees us from constricting identification with another’s actions.

Yet it is a given of life that nothing is permanently and finally satisfying. Despite this fact, many of us believe that somewhere there is a person or thing that will be permanently satisfying. Such a chimerical belief, and the restless, desperate seeking that follows from it, can become deeply disheartening and self-defeating. In mindfulness we

As adults we look for the partner who will be just right. At first that means a replica of our parents with some of the better—or missing—features added. So we find the man who controls but is also loyal. As we mature we no longer seek the negative traits, only the positive ones. So we no longer look for controlling men but for loyal men who let us

Compassion is a form of affection. It is love’s response to pain.

“Go through it, give in to it, experience it. . . . Then the most powerful energies become absolutely workable rather than taking you over, because there is nothing to take over if you are not putting up any resistance.”

Psychologically healthy adults come from a background of flexibility, not severity.