How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving

To give and receive love is our primary need. We express love emotionally, spiritually, and physically. An affectionate touch or hug from someone who really loves us can penetrate our bodies and restore our souls. All our fears, no matter how deep, can be erased by a single loving stroke.

Most of us have unrelenting longings for whatever was missing from our childhood.

We relax into the moment, and it becomes a source of immense curiosity. We do not have to do anything.

Attention means consciousness of the interconnectedness of all things. Acceptance means saying an unconditional yes to the sobering givens of existence, the facts of life. Appreciation means the attitude of gratitude. Affection means the love we feel for others and for the universe. Allowing means that we grant to others and protect in ourselves th

The path to love begins in our own past and its healing, then moves outward to relationships with others.

Mindfulness does not mean that we have no desires, simply that we are not possessed by them. We may feel fear and desire, but they no longer drive, shame, or stop us.

The practice sections in this book consist mainly of leading questions meant to challenge you to face and admit your own truth. They are meant to be answered in your journal and, when appropriate, aloud to your partner.

I see my partner in these same old ways: ——— . I believe s/he will never change these behaviors: ———

Every cell of your little body knew the difference between being held supportively and being clutched to fulfill a parent’s needs. You knew when something was being given and when it was being taken.

Love in adulthood is a re-experiencing of the love our every cell remembers. The way we were loved in early life is the way we want to be loved all our lives. Most of us know just what it takes for us to feel loved. What we have to learn is how to ask for it. A partner is not a mind-reader, so it is up to each of us to tell our partner what our bra