How to Be an Adult in Relationships: The Five Keys to Mindful Loving

every reality and person is actually an infinite field of potential, a vast open space beyond limit.

Journeying is built into us no matter how beautiful our home. The idea of change excites us no matter how pleasing our present circumstances.

Attunement is mirrored attentiveness from one person to another. Attentiveness means noticing and hearing words, feelings, and experience. In a moment of authentic attention, we feel that we are deeply and truly understood in what we say or do and in who we are, with nothing left out. Likewise, we can attune to others’ feelings, needs, bodily react

Compassion is a form of affection. It is love’s response to pain.

The ratio of appreciation to complaint in couples that stay together is five to one,

We achieve mindfulness when reality takes precedence over our ego.

Here are the five fundamental mindsets of ego that interrupt our ability to be here now and that distort reality: Fear of or worry about situation or of this person: “I perceive a threat in you or am afraid you may not like me so I am on the defensive.” Desire that this moment or person will meet our demands or expectations, grant us our needed emo

Love from another adult does more than just satisfy us in the present. It ripples back in time for us, repairing, restoring, and renovating an inadequate past. Sincere love also sets off a forward-moving ripple and a resultant shift inside us. We get to the point where we can think: “Now I don’t have to need quite so much. Now I don’t have to blame

The practice sections in this book consist mainly of leading questions meant to challenge you to face and admit your own truth. They are meant to be answered in your journal and, when appropriate, aloud to your partner.