The hero’s journey metaphor powerfully illustrates this. Every step on the path is sacred: the original crossing of the threshhold, the struggle, the return with higher consciousness. The hero is always complete because he is acting in accord with here and now unfolding challenges. The struggle is thus equal in value to the prize because both honor

To fear abandonment is to dread being left alone. This is a fear not of loss of self but of gain of self-confrontation. Setting time aside for yourself daily means choosing the very thing you fear. This paradoxical reversal leads gradually to your enjoying your aloneness.

You then hold yourself accountable but not to blame. Blame leads to an emotionally-charged self-repudiation. Accountability leads to matter-of-fact amendment and higher self-esteem.

If the ratio always remains the same or keeps altering in favor, of what is negative and self-defeating, we are not evolving. If the ratio is changing in favor of the positive—even a moment or inch at a time—we are growing.

A working relationship is a crucible in which both of these evolutionary human tasks can be fulfilled. We can be nourished by the love we now receive and work through the pain we once suffered.

Assertiveness makes clarity valuable. As a result you will be quite satisfied after an encounter with someone if you have honestly presented yourself and your position. Your satisfaction will no longer depend upon whether the other person acknowledged you or agreed with you. You will no longer wish you had said more. You will have no need to

It may take many years and just the right circumstances or person to grant us the liberating opening to know and to tell our story in words. When this happens, the memories come back and we hear ourselves putting them into words for the first time. This profound release initiates us into the heavy and healing ways of griefwork.

I accept this reality: This is my Body. I surrender to every This and Now. My love lets in what fear shuts out. I parent myself. More and more I yield and make peace. I drop “shoulds”; I make choices. I always have a choice. I walk freely on the earth. I have power: I let go of the need to control. I drop guilt: I deserve pleasure and power. I drop

Every adult relationship requires conflict before true commitment can happen. Each struggle helps you discard yet another illusory ideal about the other person, yet another illusory title to have your expectations met. Every conflict clears away the sham in favor of a fuller revelation of this real person who has not met my every need or measured