How Did You Get This Number

Picture it in your mind’s nostril: you get in a cab in time to catch twin thugs named Vomit and Cologne assaulting adefenseless pine-tree air freshener. This

to be torn down as soon as the city got around to it. When they did, 295 was replaced with the universally abhorred high-rise that currently bloats the space between Houston and Stanton. The building is tall and reflective, covered in futuristic (if by “future” you mean 1984) windows. They enable the residents to live on the Bowery but not live on

“And,” she continued, “there’s no hot water. There is, but it’s two seconds and then it turns freezing cold.”

Unless you are a Japanese businessman, why anyone would desire an apartment furnished with someone else’s crap escapes me. I don’t know any Japanese businessmen. Nor, to