Healing the Shame That Binds You

Shame begets shame.

there two forms of shame: innate shame and toxic/life-destroying shame.

Perhaps the deepest and most devastating aspect of neurotic shame is the rejection of the self by the self.

My general working definition of compulsive/addictive behavior is “a pathological relationship to any mood-altering experience that has life-damaging consequences.”

He goes on to say that without feeling, nothing matters, and with feeling, anything can matter.

The problem of toxic shame is ultimately a spiritual problem.

In a family, the whole family as an organism is greater than any individual in the family. The family is defined by the relationship between the parts, rather than the sum of the parts. As social systems, families have components, rules, roles and needs that define the system.

We cannot heal what we cannot feel.

A toxically shamed person is divided within himself and must create a false-self cover-up to hide his sense of being flawed and defective. You cannot offer yourself to another person if you do not know who you really are.