Healing the Five Wounds of the Heart: Free Yourself From the Bonds of the Past

As a result of childhood incidents, our exiles take on pain and negative beliefs, which are called burdens.

We are often unconscious of these hidden wounds and the barriers that they create. Therefore, we can’t readily identify what keeps us apart. We just know that we feel uncomfortable in each other’s presence and can’t find a way to be fully ourselves.

A poorly navigated loss, and its resulting poorly healed heart, can make you a lifelong victim to the darker side of love, and keep you locked into a lesser life with a diminished capacity to love and be loved moving forward.

This is the core wound of those who adopted the rigid pattern: their inner life was not reflected back to them and they did not learn to reference it as a source of inner guidance. Instead, attention was focused only on their surface — on their appearance and performance — and they were taught to use an external set of rules as their guidance.

One way that they recreate their childhood wounding is by presenting themselves as their performance and achievements, rather than as their beingness, feelings, and needs. Then, when they are admired and loved for their achievements, it reinforces their belief that their being and self are not lovable.