Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance

Next year, Amanda will be in high school. Her sister will follow the year after. At that point, the Hard Thing Rule will change. A fourth requirement will be added: each girl must commit to at least one activity, either something new or the piano and viola they’ve already started, for at least two years.

In our family, we live by the Hard Thing Rule. It has three parts. The first is that everyone—including Mom and Dad—has to do a hard thing. A hard thing is something that requires daily deliberate practice. I’ve told my kids that psychological research is my hard thing, but I also practice yoga. Dad tries to get better and better at being a real es

My best guess is that following through on our commitments while we grow up both requires grit and, at the same time, builds it.

Students who earned a top follow-through rating participated in two different high school extracurricular activities for several years each and, in both of those activities, advanced significantly in some way

There are countless research studies showing that kids who are more involved in extracurriculars fare better on just about every conceivable metric—they earn better grades,2 have higher self-esteem, are less likely to get in trouble and so forth.

Then ask yourself how likely it is that your approach to parenting encourages your child to emulate you. If the answer to the first question is “a great deal,” and your answer to the second is “very likely,” you’re already parenting for grit.

If you want to bring forth grit in your child, first ask how much passion and perseverance you have for your own life goals.

Are you a psychologically wise parent? Use the parenting assessment on the next page,

at the end of the day, it’s the child’s experience that really matters.