Give and Take: Why Helping Others Drives Our Success

When the pianists and their parents talked about their first piano teachers, they consistently focused on one theme: the teachers were caring, kind, and patient. The pianists looked forward to piano lessons because their first teachers made music interesting and fun. “The children had very positive experiences with their first lessons. They made co

the matcher’s mistake lies in waiting for signs of high potential. Since matchers tend to play it safe, they often wait to offer support until they’ve seen evidence of promise. Consequently, they miss out on opportunities to develop people who don’t show a spark of talent or high potential at first.

takers frequently fail to engage in the types of supportive behaviors that are conducive to the confidence and development of their peers and subordinates.

when managers were randomly assigned to see employees as bloomers, employees bloomed. McNatt concludes that these interventions “can have a fairly large effect on performance.” He encourages managers to “recognize the possible power and influence in (a) having a genuine interest and belief in the potential of their employees . . . and (b) engaging

To effectively help colleagues, people need to step outside their own frames of reference. As George Meyer did, they need to ask, “How will the recipient feel in this situation?” This capacity to see the world from another person’s perspective develops very early in life.

successful givers shift their frames of reference to the recipient’s perspective.

in creative work, givers are motivated to benefit others, so they find ways to put themselves in other people’s shoes

create a climate in the room where everybody feels that they can contribute, that it’s okay to fall on your face many, many times,” he says. This is known as psychological safety—the belief that you can take a risk without being penalized or punished.

Just as matchers grant a bonus to givers in collaborations, they impose a tax on takers.