as someone who recently became “hot”, your “hotness is capital” concept helped me understand why hot girls are often mean.

when everyone wants to take your time & attention to get a slice of your capital, you need to be less open to protect yourself

This is easiest for women for whom being a smoke show is secondary to their main passion, whether it’s acting, singing, poker, chess, or governing Finland. Beauty is a great amplifier of whatever a woman’s life is about, whether it’s an impressive career or her interpersonal qualities. And if being a hot girl isn’t the centerpiece of her identity,... See more

But — it’s still a lot, and a lot of it will be lost to them if they become someone’s wife . They won’t be able to transact their hotness capital so freely. They won’t be able to fantasize about what could be with their infinite optionality. The main obstacle to hot girls getting married is wanting to get married badly enough to give up being a hot... See more

A hottie who’s surrounded by friends and hops from one short-term relationship to another may not realize the work she has to do to become a wife , not just a trophy.

I get immediate social feedback on the quality of experience of being in my company because that’s the only thing people are in my company for . But physical beauty projects a warm glow that people simply want to bask in. If you’re hot, people will seek your company regardless.

The Value of Others lays out the problem of projection:

Whether or not they want to, people unconsciously fill in the gaps in their knowledge bases with what they expect to find there. [...] When people are attracted, they fill in those same gaps with hopeful projections and positive attributes. This is an example of the halo effect, in which people

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A hot girl also pay an intimidation tax, filtering out competent but non-flashy men who feel that she’s out of their league. Paradoxically, it applies doubly to a guy looking for a serious relationship. He runs the risk of initial rejection and the risk of her losing interest over time, which both seem more likely with a girl who has seemingly... See more

The same is true for certified baddies: they get a lot of interest from hot men, but can’t easily tell who’s interested in them personally and who’s just attracted to their attractiveness .

Male attractiveness often involves outlier talents or achievements that make a man rich or famous, and how that works in dating depends a lot on what that talent is. For women — unless you’re a celebrity — hotness is just physical appearance.