If you remember only one lesson from this book, it should be that love is at the epicenter of our happiness. Around the year 400, the great Saint Augustine summarized this lesson as the secret to a good life: “Love and do what you will.”[1] But love is reserved for people, not things; to misplace your love is to invite frustration and futility—to

There are seven big predictors of being Happy-Well that we can control pretty directly:[6] 1. Smoking. Simple: don’t smoke—or at least, quit early. 2. Drinking. Alcohol abuse is one of the most obvious factors in the Grant Study leading to Sad-Sick and putting Happy-Well out of reach. If there is any indication of problem drinking in your life, or

The striver’s life makes it hard to focus on eulogy virtues. We want to be good people, of course, but focusing on eulogy virtues feels just so . . . not special.

I invented ideas early on; I synthesize ideas—mine and others—now.

And thus, the Harvard Study of Adult Development was born. The original cohort of 268 men included people from many walks of life, including some who went on to become well-known, such as John F. Kennedy and Washington Post editor Ben Bradlee. Still, over the decades it was deemed too demographically insular—all Harvard men!—to give generalizable

From putting my career before the people in my life, deliver me. From distracting myself from life with work, deliver me. From my drive to be superior to others, deliver me. From the allure of the world’s empty promises, deliver me. From my feelings of professional superiority, deliver me. From allowing my pride to supplant my love, deliver me.

The Buddha devised a practical guide—the Four Noble Truths—for dealing with these troublesome attachments.

Here’s a trick to get started on this: Visualize yourself at a party. Someone asks, “What do you do?” You answer not with extrinsic stuff like your job title, but with what you know will give you the most purpose, meaning, and joy. Involve your spiritual life, your relationships, and the way you serve others. Don’t imagine yourself saying, “I’m a

Only to be mindful, therefore, is to be truly alive.